Himalayan Black .Ineeka Teas

October 16, 2008 at 9:45 pm | Posted in Black Tea, Tea Reviews | 8 Comments

Found at: Whole Foods. 9$/35g = 7$/oz = 112$/lb

Package: dope ass aluminum box. sealed “air tight” in 2 spots with labels (pic)(maybe someone pulled off the sealing tape that would have gone around the whole lid… that would have convinced me its airtight).

Ah… the “Brew Tache” the “feature” of this product… a winged maxipad-like teabag. Do notice that the wings spread out from the middle, not from the top so the whole bag can hang in water … probably some design compromise. i suppose then that the leaf won’t expand beyond the half of the bag’s height? – Then what is the point of this design – as opposed to just making a bigger bag on a string??? or a spacious bag out of a less flexible material “so the leaf can expand” (like those pyramid tbags) ???

Leaf: cracked open a bag: 10$ cheap scale says contains about 2.6g of tea (the label says 14bags, total 35g, so my scale is pretty close to the real weight of around 2.5g)

Method: as thoroughly detailed in their labels, i tried to fit it to MY cups… after all everyone has little tiny transparent glasses just for the right fit of their bag … and so i SPREAD THE WINGS of this … T … Ta … TACHE  and uhm yeah… i attached it “TO BRIM OF CUP” …

no… no… not really… ok…
…………………………………………..^ the bag is hanging above the 4-5 oz water i want to use
and then the very detailed instructions continue specifically stating TO “POUR HOT WATER OVER LEAVES” … WOOOOOW . R&D sure did their job on this one… so i guessed for 4oz water @ 200F ….and then i watched the “FRESHNESS UNFURL”  for 3 minutes. (since its for the US market they probably intended for the bag to stew in american sized cup of ~8oz).

btw. where the hell is the “whole leaf” in this shit? all i see is chopped shit. whole leaf my ass. her ass.

Taste: astringent, indian black tea, some floral? quality to it? I’m not really feeling straight assam, not darjeeling, maybe nilgiri or whichever one is left sikkim? watever… flavor is more clear- maybe less mixed or maybe better “quality” tea leaf than lipton pyramid teabags.

Overall: overpriced tea, stupid box design inside & out, stupid teabag, waste my money and time…

come on. i just “threw” 9$/35g @ this “nicely designed” box, tea-bag invention, label, because after all it contains “perfection and freshness” (tho there is no harvest date on it, so who the hell knows how long its been on the shelf)… and after filling 3/4 of the damn label with bullshit (because after all how else would it sell at WholeFoods unless it was 100% certified organic),
the best directions you have for your “fresh” and “award winning” (see comments by Mr. Momma) ~120$/lb tea is:

1. open teabag
2. put teabag in cup
3. pour hot water, steep 3 to 5 minutes

are you joking.

how big a “cup” 4oz or 8oz… how much water, temps, etc…….. whaaaaaaaaa………

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8 Comments »

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  1. Great review. Even with the potty mouth. I’ll have to check out more of your blog.

  2. Hey buddy… Do you really have this much time to rip on a company that is doing a good deed for the people in India? Do you know anything about this company or are you just looking for a reason to bitch?

    Do some research jack ass. This company is making for good lives in India for all the Families that live on the farm. They give schooling to the children and heath care to the families.

    The tea might cost a bit more, but it because it is some of the best tea you can buy in the states AND because it supports a good cause.

    Stop being angry at life because of your child hood. Drink a glass of half FULL tea once in awhile.

  3. Hey Jo, wassappenin buddy!
    .
    If you wanted to do a good deed then do it and shut the fuck up.
    .
    get the tea, cut costs, put them in cheap paper bags and sell that shit with a label that says: Help this poor family in India. We know this is not the best tea, but we’re trying hard to get as much return back to where it belongs: the tea farmer.
    Honesty – I would buy that.
    .
    I dont buy into the BULLSHIT that is so prevalent on the US market.
    .
    Dont preach to me, the consumer disappointed with a product, about doing great deeds for families in India by selling your overpriced chopped up shit in heavy aluminium boxes in stupid teabags and poor instructions for “such a wonderful piece of tea.”
    .
    the best i can buy in the US? L-O-L bro.
    .
    and btw, why would i research about the company? do i make tea out of the company website? do i brew company fliers? do i steep the tea farmers feet for tea? … NO (at least i hope i dont)

  4. You seem very angry. Thats to bad. Try smiling more.

    If you read anything, you would see all the awards the tea has won for being some of THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

  5. I guess the teas i drink dont have enough theanine to calm me down.
    .
    I am tired of reading every company’s opinions and advertising
    I just want to drink my tea.
    .
    I dont need medals and certificates to tell me i should like a tea.
    and suddenly Ineeka’s become from the best in the US to THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
    i’m sure i’ll buy even more now, and with that sticker on it …
    .
    oh and IT WILL TASTE SO MUCH BETTER.

  6. alright, i took some pills,
    i’ll do some cleaning of this post… since it is rather childish and overly astringent, i especially dont like the word tampon… so, there.

  7. Cool. You are indeed a good writer though. Take care!

  8. (^_^) thx. 4real? moi?
    … people take the internets too seriouslee.


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