Kettle Brewed unsweetened Black Tea .Trader Joes

March 2, 2008 at 11:18 am | Posted in Black Tea, RTD Bottled Tea, Tea Reviews | 11 Comments

Having had their bottled “green tea” i wasn’t expecting much,
and much wasn’t found.

Looked nice, thick (3.78L=1gal), and more cost effective (around $3.7) next to the awesome Tejava bottled tea ($1.70, 1L), also the “kettle brewed” sparked some minor interest.

Opent bottle, whatcha think it smells like? yeah, the lemon smell of citric acid.

Whatcha think it tastes like? yeah, the ****ing lemon taste of whatever makes it taste like lemon…citric acid?

This is some watery brown colored lemonade with some shitty ass watery black tea scraped from the bottom of long lost barrels arrived on the tea ship from friggin who knows where.

tea taste…? well, if you’d distillate the entire gallon, then you’d probably get about 1 cup of black tea. the shitty black tea they used to make this shitty dirty ass waterylemonade shit. 😡

having said that. i’ll drink the whole bottle, just to see if my pee turns brown.

update: couldnt guzzle more than 1/3 of it. if i look at it one more time i’m gonna be sick.

ps. my pee . – still yellow.  then, . my liver just destroyed caramel color of 1/3 gallon. thx. i’d rather drink cola for that.

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11 Comments »

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  1. Best review EVAR!

  2. THANKX!

    you bet
    all according to my professional standards.

    but you havent seen the snapple Orange Pekoe one, better colors, much more concise precise directly shortly conclusive. i should go back to college, i liked english. i dont remember all the rules. thats why i enjoy not to follow them. plus i just had lots of sugary cookies – so i’m experiencing lots of parallel thinking and keyboard logorrhea…

    XOXO

  3. You are right, the Snapple Orange Pekoe is more concise *and* it has that poignant plea that you be stopped from drinking any more.

    Still, there’s something about this review (the citric acid, the big blue “watery”s traveling down the page), man, it’s a thing of beauty.

  4. yeah i didn’t plan that, but

    as one knows, beautiful things happen by accident.

    the randomness of mother nature, in this case the randomness of a brain hopped up on sugar meringues from trader joes (fat free) (but as everyone knows – sugar will be converted to fat anyway in the liver, as the animal shall need energy for later, and more cushion for the seat…err… cushin for the pushin? baby got back?

    as for this product… i’m trying really hard to drink it, and only 1/4 done. not even enough to make me excrete anything. i don’t know if i can take any more…

  5. oddly enough i purchased this yesterday at trader joes. the only reason i did is that they didn’t have any teajava bottles. watery brown colored lemonade is very accurate. though mine is more bland than actually lemony.

  6. i think i’m getting more ‘sensitive’ to tasting this citric acid. now i can even smell it a little in the Tejava’s aroma, but thankfully none in the taste.

    after many years, its become rather annoying -this lack of *good stuff*. and aside from ItoEn who has better bottled teas, snapple, lipton haven’t come up with anything good.

  7. Also tried the big plastic jug of tea at Trader Joe’s only because the bottled Teajava wasn’t in stock…yuch! awful stuff. I make special trips to TJ’s to buy the TeaJava..

  8. I don’t know WTF you folks are talking about. TJ’s bottle kettle-brewed unsweetened black tea is consistently the best I’ve had. Robust flavor with a subtle hint of lemon and lacking the bitter edge and unpleasant clove aftertaste of Tejava. The only other tea that comes close is sun tea from premium orange pekoe.

  9. THANK YOU DOUG.
    This tea tastes so good I can’t tell you how much I love it. I taste pure, bold black tea flavor. It’s unsweetened and needs nothing else added because it’s so perfect-and I have a sweet tooth too. I recommend this to people who like any kind of tea. It is smooth, refreshing, and such quality for the low price.
    I can’t remember if it had citric acid in it, but let me tell you that citric acid is a NATURAL preservative and that’s why trader joes put it in it.
    Trust me, I WORK THERE!! And I’m not being biased- I really mean this.
    Also try the white tea with mint, similar to this packaging. It’s soo good.

  10. “I taste pure, bold black tea flavor”

    i’m sorry then, but you should experience more looseleaf black tea, without sugar, without preservatives (“NATURAL” or not, citric acid changes the flavor.)

    “pure, bold black tea” does NOT taste like citric acid. Tejava is closer to black tea compared to this.

  11. I haven’t tried the TJ black tea but I’ve tried the white/green tea with the hint of mint and it’s god awful. I don’t like the mint and it has an overall lemony taste which I also don’t like. I want the $4 I spent back because I can’t possibly drink this stuff. I would think the black tea has that same lemony taste. The Tejava is incredible though, really brisk and clean. Love it.


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